I am Next in Line, What do I Say?

By: Brian Daly
Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Funerals can be an uncomfortable and emotional time for all those involved. And sometimes the most uncomfortable part of the whole day is finding the right words to express your sympathy to the families and loved ones of the deceased. Is there a right word or expression to tell a family how sorry you are for there loses? So many times people will settle for a generic handshake and expression and move on, but that is not what the family wants to hear. Within this article we will take a look at the do and don’ts of what to say to the immediate family at the funeral.

 

What Not to Say

Before you are able to understand what is an appropriate response, it is important to know some things to avoid first. For most people they will tend to lead towards the phrases such as “they’re in a better place”, “everything happens for a reason” or “be strong”. When you say phrases along those lines its as if you are diminishing the pain that they are feeling. It is taking away the pain that they feel and can make the bereaved feel work. You need to consider your words wisely; they would be sympathetic and caring. You do not want the bereaved to feel as though you are casting aside their emotions towards there lose, because for them this is the most difficult day of their lives. When you use generic phrases and sympathies you are showing them that you had no real connection with the deceased.

 

What You Should Say

Many people do not know what they should say to the bereaved because they don’t understand that even a few phrases could provide comfort to someone through such a tremendous lose. If you really don’t know what to say, then a simple “I’m sorry for your loss” and move on, or even telling the bereaved how much you knew the deceased loved them could be a big support. It is important for the bereaved to know that you shared many happy memories with the deceased, and for them to also know the impact that they made on your life. If you are comfortable, you can also express your favourite memories or remembrance of the deceased because it will help them also reflect on the positive memories that they shared.

 

If you are still unsure of what to say, reflect on the relationship you had with the deceased. Think of that one positive memory or personality trait that you will never forget. The bereaved are going through many stages of grief and mourning, try to be a sense of comfort. When you are able to reflect on the positives you will find something positive to say to the families.

 

If you have any further questions on this topic, please contact us at Ocean County Cremation Services.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the letters you see in the image.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Pre-Planning Your Funeral

Many people aren’t comfortable with the idea of pre-planning a funeral or thinking about death when they’re relatively healthy. However, this process has many benefits that can make life easier for...

What Goes Into the Expense of a Standard Funeral?

Organizing a funeral can be an expensive proposition and most people aren’t aware of the costs up until the time they actually have to plan and pay for one. There are a number of different services...

What Can You Do with the Ashes of a Cremated Loved One?

When a person passes away, people often wonder what they should do with their cremated remains. There are a few different options open to you with reference to what you can do with the ashes of you...

Understanding the Cremation Process

Burying a deceased loved one in a conventional burial ground is a process is more familiar than a cremation. The latter is now being chosen by many for its simplicity, cost-effectiveness, and conve...

5 Tips to Help a Friend Through the Grieving Process

Many people aren’t too sure about how they can help their friend who has lost a loved one, through the grieving process and end up making mistakes. Here are some tips that can help: Go with the ...

Cremation Facts - Everything You Need to Know

Today, many people are veering away from traditional burials and opting for cremations. This is more relevant in the case of individuals that are considering pre-planning their funeral and want to ...

How Does Compounded Grief Affect our Coping Abilities?

Most people find it very difficult to cope with grief and the simple fact is that grief simply tends to build on itself. While some people do manage to cope with their grief in a stable manner, oth...

Understanding Cremation Pricing

Funeral or cremation expenses can be an unexpected financial burden sometimes, especially for families who have lost their primary earning member. People need to have a good idea of the expenses in...

Coping With Loss of a Loved One During the Holiday Season

There’s no one way to cope with the loss of a loved one and there’s no strict timeline to follow. The grief won’t just vanish six months or a year after you experience the loss. The loss of a loved...

Social Media Meets Funeral Service. The Pro's and Cons

With social media being an increasing part of our lives, it is important to understand the key role it can play in planning a funeral service or dealing with a loved one’s passing. Here are some of...